Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm both gender and math confused
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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