We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize