I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
