You really coming over, don't trick.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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