yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
