Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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