I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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