I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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