i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
