her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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