Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize