I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
