Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
