My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
