ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
