please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
