Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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