we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
