dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize