i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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