I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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