I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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