thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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