Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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