So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
