ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
false alarm. still invincible.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
