Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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