I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
