"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
