great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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