you will always have a special place in my vag
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
