Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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