I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
