I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
