My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
