You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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