Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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