these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize