Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
