you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
