he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
