**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
