So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
