I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I didn't notice because vodka
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
