haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
