Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
