just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
