Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
