I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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