I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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