Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
