Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize