So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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