loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think your dad took our porno
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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