It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
