my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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