i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
